The Smoothie Diaries: Blender Friend or Foe?

  Green Smoothie

I’ve never thought of a blender as the enemy. Or is it my new bestie? The hunger is talking; I should drink. I started a smoothie cleanse. Cue dramatic sighs. Did I really just say that? It’s one of the hazards of living in Los Angeles. Everyone is on some kind of diet, detox, yummy food free plan and touting the benefits of said torture. “You’ll feel so awesome, light, clean, energized, new, insert buzz phrase here,” size 0 actress claims. So far, I’m just cranky and hungry. I sincerely do have as much energy as usual, so I guess my body has to adjust. I secretly feel smug and enlightened – clearly a side effect of nixing solid treats.

It all started when I snagged a personal blender, the trendy kitchen appliance for singles. It was under 20 bucks at Target. I couldn’t resist. It has a handy to go cuptainer (that’s cup and container smooshed together). I can blend! I can go! The excitement in the store was over the top. It sounded like the perfect way to trick myself into eating healthy.

I started with fruits and yogurt only. My sugar addiction is epic so fruit had to be first. The resulting banana, strawberry, blueberry, yogurt smoothie was surprisingly filling. I later have a normalish lunch and dinner. Two days later I feel bold enough to add loads of greens. Spinach leaves beware; you are now blended! My creation is surprisingly delish. It’s probably all of the strawberries I added or maybe it was the banana. Next up, I have a second green smoothie and later a light dinner. Now the headaches creep in; I’m starting to doubt the genius of this plan.

There are pros. I feel lighter; the scale says I’m losing pounds. Mentally, I think if I make it through this I can surely conquer the world. I’m clearly getting more fruits and vegetables, antioxidants, enzymes and nutrients by default. There are also #cons. I was cranky for the first few days (plus a little bit now) and super jealous of anyone chewing food before 5 PM. I feel like I’m spending a ton on veggies; I suppose not splurging on pounds of meat makes up for it.

Do I feel enlightened? Well, I can say I am– without conviction. Overall, I feel better inside and out. I’m not eating faux food so I’m doing something super positive for my health. If I’m not hallucinating, the mirror shows that my new habits are naturally improving my skin. In the long run, I’m transitioning into a healthier lifestyle and much better eating habits. I guess my mini blender isn’t a mean girl after all.

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